Compliments Don’t Build Leaders. Candor Does
I took a shortcut recently.
It almost cost me something I deeply value.
When I told a friend, she looked me in the eye and said:
“You were being lazy. How would you feel if the tables were turned? Put in the work.”
No cushion. No sugar.
I was stunned, and honestly, embarrassed.
It was painful. It was also refreshing.
I couldn’t remember the last time anyone spoke to me that plainly.
I chose to listen through the discomfort.
I didn’t defend myself. I admitted it.
I committed to redoing the work properly.
Then came the real discovery:
I didn’t actually know the right process.
What I thought was laziness was partly a knowledge gap.
So, I got humble, asked questions, and learned.
3 Lessons I Learned in the Process
1. Shortcuts Are Often Disguised Gaps
Sometimes we cut corners because we don’t know the right way, and ego stops us from admitting it.
2. Your Response to Hard Feedback Reveals Your Ceiling
Defensiveness keeps you where you are. Ownership moves you forward.
3. Your Circle Shapes Your Standard
If everyone around you offers only applause, you’re not being supported. You’re being sedated.
Two Questions to Sit With Today
So, here are two questions to sit with today:
Who in your life is willing to tell you the truth when it’s uncomfortable? (Circle audit)
Are you offering false encouragement when you should be speaking the truth in love?
Growth rarely comes from comfort.
It comes from the people who respect you enough to be honest.
Who’s the person who told you what you needed to hear, not what you wanted to hear?
BISOLA MOJAGI
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