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Updated: Aug 14, 2023

Is it just me or is self-discovery a lot more complex in the times that we live in?

If you ask me, I think that most people especially women prefer to be clones of people with perceived success or people they consider to be stronger and influential rather than focus on self-discovery.

Dear woman, self-discovery is the key to personal growth and success. It is the foundation of any sustainable achievement or success. Here are some simple steps to self-discovery and most importantly, to deploy the real you.

 

Steps to Self-Discovery 

 

1. Take time to Reflect

We live in a noisy world with information flying around both required and unsolicited. For you to begin your journey toward self-discovery, you must learn to take time off your ‘busyness’ and reflect. Take time to think about the way you think. Why do you believe what you believe? What matters to you the most in life? Ask yourself questions and be honest in your answers. While you may not have all the answers, you will begin to gain new insights about yourself.

 

2. Identify your personal philosophy (core Values).

Anyone who doesn't stand for something would fall for anything.

What do you stand for? What is your fundamental belief and highest priority that drives your behavior and choices? People and indeed success only gravitate towards a person who lives by a set value.

Refuse to run with a belief system that stampedes your growth as a woman.

Before I rest on this matter, may I remind you that being a woman isn't synonymous with not having a clear sense of direction. Being a woman points to your uniqueness and finding yourself helps you maximize your super-power.

 

3. Try out new things

From time to time, step out of your comfort zone to explore new things. In the bid to be financially sufficient, we find ourselves totally boxed in our 9-5 jobs and never trying out new things. There is more to your existence than paying bills. Not pursuing those things that give you joy is a recipe for frustration.

Studies have shown that learning new things helps you overcome fear, improve your self-confidence, stimulates your mind and brain, improves your mood, and ultimately helps you know yourself better! Why not pick up your pen and make a list of at least three new things to try out.

 

4. Welcome Feedback

Seek and accept feedback from others to gain insights about yourself. Everyone has ‘blind spots’ and sometimes we are unaware of how we rub off on others or how our behavior affects others. Embracing feedback gives insight into what can be improved or done differently. Embracing feedback is a crucial part of self-discovery. Note, however, that sometimes feedback may be laced with other people’s sense of insecurity, learn to filter what is important and discard what is not.

 

5. Connect with your source

There are some information and functionalities that may never be known about a product except when the manufacturer makes it known. So also, there are hidden capabilities that are only revealed when you connect with your source.

For me, I have discovered more about myself on my faith walk than through any other means. So, I ask, how connected are you to your source?

 

© Bisola Mogaji 2023

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In the part of the globe where I grew up, one of the most common phrases is "Are you given to deep thoughts at all?" (Loosely Translated)



You would hear this as often as you are considered acting out of sync. While this is okay, it could really pose a problem if all you do is think and never act. You see, it's not just ideas that rule the world, but the corresponding implementation (actionable steps).

I dare say that in the world we live in, a woman needs to even do more than her male counterpart when it comes to taking actionable steps towards her dreams. There are many reasons why ladies regardless of age aren't able to pursue their dreams optimally and I would highlight a few of them here.

Obstacles to Taking Actionable Steps


· Overthinking

While thinking things through is great, doing it overly could pose a problem to your growth. As the saying goes, "Too much of everything is bad" and that includes thinking. So, thoughts should be during ideation. Once you have identified what needs to be done, you don't need to figure everything out before stepping out otherwise you stand the risk of getting overwhelmed and ultimately stuck.

· Perfectionism

I have met people who pursue excellence at the expense of growth and progress. They would rather do nothing than produce anything short of the perfect picture they have in their head. It is true that "What is worth doing at all is worth doing well". But there should be a balance because, at a certain stage of your journey, certain things are just not actionable.

· People Pleasing

People are often bothered about what people think till they get cut into the web of subjecting their dreams to the opinions of others. For a woman, it is even more tricky as she craves validation from her husband or the men in her life and loses herself in the process. It is okay to be on the same page with your spouse but you shouldn't get stuck while you are at it.

How to Take Actionable Steps

· Be Realistic

Don't live in Wonderland. There is a difference between the picture in your head and reality. While your dreams are valid, it takes identifying what needs to be done at the different stages of your life for them to be actualized.

· Have a to-do-list

The journey to actualizing your dreams can be both demanding and overwhelming but you must be tactical in your approach. And one way to do that is to identify and document what needs to be done in the order of importance. You should tick each item off your list once it's done. There is a deep sense of satisfaction that accompanies striking out something you aimed to achieve. Be careful not to fall into the trap of constantly carrying over undone ‘to-do’ list items. Let your ‘to-do’ list be daily and highly prioritized.

· Adopt the little-by-little principle

The thought of eating an Elephant at once alone is scary, talkless of doing so. To take steps towards your dreams, you must learn to tackle things in smaller bits. Don't take on every task all at once. One day at a time, one step at a time is one formula for growth that has proven to work over the years. I suggest you adopt it and watch yourself soar to unimaginable heights.

In closing, recognize that being a woman isn't a disadvantage so, you need to step up and start getting things done. You have done plenty of thinking and analysis over the years, and it's enough. Now is the time to step up and take actionable steps towards the actualization of your dreams.

© Bisola Mogaji 2023


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Makeup is part of dressings for most ladies. You are either a light makeup user or a heavy makeup user. Usually, a larger percentage of makeup is applied to the face region to project a desired image, sometimes the transformation to the entirety of an individual can be astonishing.

Today, I will like to talk about a part of us that we must "apply makeup" on. That part of us is our MIND. As you make up your face, you must also make up your mind!

In making up your face, you apply items such as, face primer, foundation, concealer, blusher, powder, lip gloss and several other beauty items but in making up your mind, you don't need all these as your mind is an invisible part of you.


To make up your mind is to overcome indecision. No matter how well made up our faces are, our lives remain ugly until we make up our minds.

Many are still stagnated, stuck and stranded because they failed to make up their minds. I know there are times when we all find ourselves in the web of decision paralysis and the mental exhaustion that comes from dealing with too many choices/ options or struggling between two excellent ones.


This could be a decision on who to marry, what career to pursue, to relocate or not to relocate, to start a business or not, to forgive or not, to invest or not, to write a book or not, to work full time, hybrid or remote? The list is endless. According to Joseph Bikart "Decisions are complex, not necessarily because the choice between two options is complex, but also, and more importantly, because human beings are complex".


Don't leave your mind blank and unmade up. Weigh your options, engage your core values, pray for divine leading, seek counsel where necessary, count your costs, and then, proceed to make up your mind and act on the decision taken. It is important to note that sometimes even face makeup doesn’t exactly turn out as visualized, the trick is to keep tweaking until a desired result emerges. So also, our decisions may not be the best at times, but there is no better way to learn, fail forward and grow.


You can't achieve much in life if you keep 'sitting on the fence'. Make up your mind, not only your face. It is useless to have a made-up face, while the mind is blank, bare, and blind.


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© Bisola Mogaji


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