I Reacted Before I Understood: What It Reminded Me About My Triggers

I remember a moment not too long ago.

Someone said something in a meeting, and before they could even finish, I had already reacted.

My tone shifted. My body tightened.

My response? Defensive.

But in truth, I wasn’t reacting to what was said.

I was reacting to what I thought it meant.

Later, when I replayed the moment, I realized…

I had misunderstood them completely.

That moment humbled me.

Because as leaders and growth-minded individuals, we like to believe we are measured, self-aware, and intentional.

But triggers don’t announce themselves.

They show up in microseconds, through assumptions, past experiences, and unexamined stories.

Here are a few simple ways I’ve learned to spot them:

Notice your body before your words : Tightness, heat, urgency - your body often knows you’re triggered before your mind catches up.

Watch for the need to “correct” immediately: That rush to respond is often a signal, not wisdom.

Listen for the story you’re telling yourself :“They’re dismissing me.” “I’m being overlooked.” Sometimes, it’s not the truth - it’s an interpretation.

Pause. Even briefly. A breath can be the difference between reaction and leadership.

That day taught me something powerful:

Self-awareness isn’t proven in calm moments, it’s revealed in triggered ones.

And the leaders who grow the most are not the ones who never get triggered… but the ones who learn to recognize it, own it, and respond differently.

This week, pay attention to one moment where you feel triggered. Don’t justify it, just observe it.

What did you feel? What story did you tell yourself?

What could you choose differently next time?

That’s where your next level of leadership begins.

What did you notice the last time you felt triggered?

BISOLA MOGAJI