Small Wasn’t Your Personality. It Was You Survival Strategy

I see you.

You walked in.

You scanned the room.

You measured the temperature, and then you recalibrated yourself downward so you wouldn’t outshine anyone.

And before anyone said a word to you, you made yourself smaller.

Not because someone asked you to.

But because somewhere, sometime, being smaller worked. It kept the peace.

It avoided the side-eye.

It kept you in the room without anyone feeling threatened by your presence.

So you did it again. And again.

Until it stopped feeling like a choice and started feeling like just… who you are.

That’s not personality. That’s a pattern.

And patterns can be broken.

Shrinking behavior often begins as a survival strategy.

Something you learned to do to protect yourself.

Something that once helped you belong.

But over time, it can begin limiting the very things you were meant to express.

Signs You May Be Shrinking Yourself

Here’s what the behavior actually looks like.

See if any of these are familiar:

● You have the answer, but wait to see if someone else says it first.

● You over-explain your ideas before anyone pushes back.

● You apologize before sharing an opinion:
“This might be wrong, but…”

● You laugh off a compliment instead of simply saying thank you.

● You dress down your wins so others don’t feel uncomfortable.

● You volunteer to do thankless work so no one can accuse you of being “too big for your boots.”

Every single one of these is a form of shrinking behavior.

And every single one of them is costing you:

● Your influence

● Your opportunities

● Your seat at the table you’ve already earned

Shrinking was a survival strategy.

But you’re not just surviving anymore.

You are building. Leading.

Creating. Influencing.

And you cannot do any of that at 60% of yourself.

The world doesn’t need a dimmer version of you.

It needs the one who walks in, takes up her full space, and makes everyone in the room believe that they can too.

Start with one thing this week:

The next time you catch yourself shrinking, pause.

Then choose differently. Just once.

That’s how the pattern breaks.

Drop a line if you can relate to any of those behaviors and share this with the woman in your life who needs permission to take up more space today.

📖 Paraphrased From: Engraced: How to Identify Your Edge and Use It as Your Superpower
— Bisola Mogaji