You Have Bigger Fish To Fry

A family never ate big fish.

Not because they couldn’t catch them.

They caught them all the time.

They threw them back — every single one — and kept only the small ones.

When someone finally asked why, nobody could answer.

So they investigated further.

They discovered that generations ago, one family member had a tiny frying pan. Because the pan was small, she kept only small fish and threw back the big ones.

Her children watched. They did the same.

Their children watched. Same habit. Same result.

Nobody noticed the pan had been replaced years ago. The pan was gone.

But the behavior remained.

This is what inherited belief does.

It doesn’t just change how you think; it rewires how you act, often without your awareness.

You don’t apply for the role, not because you’re unqualified, but because someone once told you people like you don’t get those seats.

You believed them.

And now you don’t even bother applying.

You downplay your idea in the meeting, not because it’s weak, but because the last time you spoke boldly, someone made you feel foolish.

So now your voice shrinks automatically.

Before anyone even pushes back.

You self-sabotage the opportunity, not because you don’t want it, but because somewhere deep down, a voice says you don’t deserve it.

And your behavior obeys that voice like gospel.

The belief became a behavior.

The behavior became a pattern.

The pattern became your life.

But patterns can be interrupted.

Here’s How to Interrupt It:

1. Identify the Behavior

Not the feeling — the specific action (or inaction) you keep repeating.

2. Trace It Back

When did you first do this?

What did you believe in that moment?

3. Challenge the Origin

Was that belief true then? Is it true now?

Whose voice was it — really?

4. Replace the Action

Deliberately do the opposite, once.

Then again. That’s how new patterns form.

The pan in your life has been replaced.

The question is:

What’s one behavior you’ve been repeating on autopilot, that you now suspect is just an old belief in disguise?

📖 From Engraced: How to Identify Your Edge and Use It as Your Superpower by Bisola Mogaji